Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”