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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Going viral on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Just landed via Threads:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Breaking via Facebook:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Making waves on X:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

1 month ago

Humorous text highlighting the fun side of constant LinkedIn alerts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Getting invited to that awkward work event you never wanted to attend is what I call fun, LinkedIn style! 🎉💼 #NetworkingNightmares"

engagement, fun, humor, irony, LinkedIn, media, notification, social, social media, work

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25 shares on TikTok this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

67 shares on X this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

96 shares on Threads this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Trending via Pinterest:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Breaking via WeChat:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Going viral on TikTok:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨