100 Funny after quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of wise words arriving a bit too late! 🤦‍♂️ Who needs hindsight when you have gravity on your side, right? 🙃 Remember, slipping is just an unexpected dance move waiting to happen! 💃 #SlipperyWhenFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like a vacation to refill your reservoir of disdain for work! 💼😆 Back to reality with a vengeance! #hatemyjob #workstruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've mastered the art of losing gracefully! 🤷‍♂️ Don't worry, they say practice makes perfect right? Or maybe it's just a great excuse to treat yourself to some ice cream 🍦 Keep your head up, champ! 🏆 #ProfessionalLoser"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

  Commentary:
  Trying to recover from a botched high five is like trying to un-send a risky text message… it's just awkward city, population: you and your flailing hand 🤦‍♂️🤝 Don't worry, we've all been there!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

  Commentary:
  🚓 Police officer: please step out of your vehicle.
  🤣 Me: after this song, hold on.
  🎶 *Busts out dance moves inside the car* 😄🚗

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a new challenger for the ultimate party trick! 🍷💧 Sorry Jesus, seems like this person has some *serious* hydration skills on their side. 💪😄 #waterbender"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like we've got a social butterfly in the making here! 🦋🎉 After-work events, you say? Sounds like a fine balance between being productive during the day and letting loose at night! 🌃💼 Let's just hope those "activities" don't involve too many trust falls… or mandatory karaoke sessions! 🙈🎤 Enjoy the benefits of combining work and play, my friend!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone missed the memo on the whole 'free pass to heaven' deal… 💸🙏 Maybe they should have read the fine print! 😂 #HeavenlyFinances"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

  Commentary:
  "Age is just a number, but on Facebook, it's more like a state secret 🕵️‍♂️🤫. After 35, birthdays become classified information for your profile 😂🔒 #AgelessAndFacelessLikeANinja"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even in the afterlife, this person is planning to have a social calendar busier than the Kardashians! 👻💁‍♂️ Better make sure to RSVP in advance to meet this ghostly VIP! 😄 #AfterlifeGoals"

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