Commentary:
Finally, a lifetime subscription to the post-social event gossip club! 🗣️💬👫🤣
197 Funny after quotes
Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.
Commentary:
Can't wait for the AI bubble to pop so we can finally get those flying cars and jetpacks our internet ancestors promised 🚀😂
The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.
Commentary:
Rushing home like I'm in the Indy 500 but really it's just to get into my PJs faster 🏎️🛋️😴
After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.
Commentary:
Looks like Santa's switching to a forehead-only delivery service this year! 🎅💸💋
“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.
Commentary:
When my brain says, "Stop," but my fingers are like, "Let's go viral!" 😅🤦♂️🔁
It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.
Commentary:
Imagine the commentary track on those near-miss highlights… 🤔🎬💀
Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.
Commentary:
Count me in! I've got a lung capacity like a bagpipe and an appetite to match! 😱🍕😂
Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.
Commentary:
Looks like we've scheduled the meeting for the 12th of Never-uary! 📅😂
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.
Commentary:
So true! Just like I know my cat *only* meows at me because I'm special 😹🎤🍸