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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Trending via WeChat:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Shared recently on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Making waves on Discord:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Going viral on Twitch:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Making waves on TikTok:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Trending via Telegram:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

72 shares on Discord this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

37 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Just shared via Slack:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Trending via Pinterest:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Making waves on Messenger:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Breaking via YouTube:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Making waves on Telegram:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Going viral on Telegram:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

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