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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Making waves on Instagram:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Trending via Facebook:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Making waves on X:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Just landed via Reddit:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Just landed via TikTok:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Spotted on Threads:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

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31 Funny answer quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Going viral on WeChat:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Making waves on Instagram:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Breaking via Instagram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Spotted on Threads:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Going viral on Slack:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

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Activity Log ✨

31 Funny answer quotes

More funny answer quotes 👇

For even more funny answer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny answer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

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