139 Funny before quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

  Commentary:
  Oh boy, sounds like someone's hit the send button with a vengeance! 💌💥 Let's hope they have better luck reaching you through the inbox than with their fists! 😂🙏 #EmailsOverKnockouts

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

  Commentary:
  "Next level parenting move: Start the 'are we there yet?' interrogation before your kids even have a chance to ask. 😆🚗 #ParentingPro"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

  Commentary:
  "Never faked an orgasm before, but let's just say the joy of ugly presents comes pretty close! 😂🎁 Who needs fancy gifts when you can laugh your way through the holiday season with some truly unique and questionable presents? Embrace the quirks and keep those surprises coming!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a hair-raising realization! 🥥🚗 Who needs a coconut when you've got coconut-scented hair, am I right? 😂 #ShampooStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

  Commentary:
  🤣 What a refreshing approach! Talk about making password changes a breeze – who needs complexity and security when you can stick with the classics, right? 🤷‍♂️ It’s like telling potential hackers, “Hey, here’s the door, just make sure to knock next time you come snooping around!” 🚪🔓 Well, with this policy in place, at least we can all save some brainpower for more pressing matters… like debating which snack to

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

  Commentary:
  "Being a woman: Mastering the delicate art of toning down your excitement in emails! 😅🚫💁‍♀️ #PunctuationStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

  Commentary:
  "Before diving into parenthood, remember: kids are experts at pushing your patience to new heights! 🤪👶 #ParentingAdventures #StayingZen"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

  Commentary:
  "Sometimes your stomach just wants to rev up and join the motorcycle gang outside 🏍️🤣 #VroomVroom"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

  Commentary:
  "Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

  Commentary:
  “When life gives you sass, respond with class 😏🤯 #SarcasmVersusDiplomacy”

For even more funny before quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny before quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌