Commentary:
Spinning in circles until I get dizzy or a ticket, whichever comes first! 🚓😂🔄
277 Funny before quotes
A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.
Commentary:
Garbagemen: Taking out the trash while crypto traders and op-ed writers just add to it! 🗑️🤣🚛
Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.
Commentary:
Ah, the vicious cycle of trying to balance school brain and chill brain! 🎓🤯🔄🙃
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.
Commentary:
Mondays be doing overtime this week 😂☕ #MondayMadness
Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.
Commentary:
Guess they accidentally joined the "How to Self-Checkout" certification course! 🛒🤦♂️💸
Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.
Commentary:
Just here for the daily rage workout! 💪😡🤪
I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.
Commentary:
Just holding out for the season finale of Earth to decide if I should start adulting 😂🌍⏳
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.
Commentary:
Two lovebirds eyeing each other like they're deciding who's the appetizer 🍽️👀💋
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.
Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.
Commentary:
Well, I guess my English teacher just quit their job 😅📚🚪➡️🏃♂️