Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it's the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy"
6 months ago
Share →: Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Commentary:
"Stepping on someone's foot is like discovering a secret trap door to their mouth – talk about a surprise entrance! 🚪😮♨️ #Whoops #WatchYourStep"
6 months ago
Share →: I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs to judge based on superficial criteria when you can simply judge people for their bad behavior? It's like skipping the appetizer and going straight for the main course of judgment! 🙅‍♂️🌈 Just say no to discrimination and yes to calling out bad behavior wherever you see it! 💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Commentary:
"Admit it, we all turn into professional negotiators when saying goodbye to our pets – promising a quick return as if we're striking a crucial trade deal with them 🐶🐱 Who can resist those pleading eyes and wagging tails, after all? It's a sacred ritual of leaving the house – the 'I'll be back soon' declaration to our fur babies, complete with guilt-inducing puppy-dog stares and purrs of disapproval. It's an emotional rollerco
6 months ago
Share →: All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Commentary:
Looks like one fruit fly has grand exploration dreams while the rest are content with garbage buffet dining 🍌🦟 Keep reaching for the stars, little explorer! Who knows, maybe you'll stumble upon a fruit fly paradise with all-you-can-eat bananas! 🌟🍌
6 months ago
Share →: Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Commentary:
It's all fun and games until the dogs start bluffing with their tails 😄🐾🃏 Who knew our furry pals were secretly planning their next poker night?! Someone better keep an eye on those sneaky canines before they start dealing out ruff hands! 🐶🎲 #PokerPaws #DoggyDealings
6 months ago
Share →: If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Commentary:
"If human behavior doesn't improve, I might just end up saving puppies with my spare parts 🐶🏥 Who knew the animal shelter could use a human organ donor? 🤣 #GoodDeedsGoneToTheDogs"
6 months ago
Share →: Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Commentary:
"Who knew Google would become the ultimate parenting manual? 😂💻 Just remember, there's no 'Ctrl + Z' button when it comes to real-life tantrums! 🤪👶 #ParenthoodAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic reverse psychology at play! 🙈 It's like giving a kid a challenge they just can't resist. Don't touch that, they said. But now it's like a neon sign saying "Touch Me!" Kids are sneaky little rebels, aren't they? 😂 #CuriosityWins
6 months ago
Share →: Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Commentary:
"Ah, the electrifying journey to empowerment! ⚡️ Who needs self-help books when you've got DIY electricity, am I right? 🔌 Let's just hope your newfound power doesn't blow a fuse! 💥😂 #ShockingEmpowerment"