94 Funny behavior quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

  Commentary:
  "Admitting mistakes and apologizing? Sounds like a rare species in the human world! 🙈 Finding those gems is like hunting for a four-leaf clover in a field of dandelions! 🍀 Who knew humility and honesty could be such elusive traits! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

  Commentary:
  "Who said being the bigger person is the only way to go? Sometimes you just gotta embrace your inner guard dog and start barking at people 🐶🗣️ Who's ready to join the pack?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the graceful yet brutal art of the cat slap – their way of saying 'I have no idea what you are, so take this slap!' 🐾😹 Don't mess with the mysterious feline mind, or you might end up with a swift paw to the face!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, a newbie in the world of behaving! 🤔 How about starting with the classic 'Don't chew with your mouth open' or the always popular 'Don't talk with your mouth full'? 💁‍♂️ Remember, behaving isn't just about following rules, it's about making the world a better (and less cringeworthy) place! 😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being a house cat, living your best life, slapping away confusion like it's a fly in your tuna dinner 🐱💥 #ConfusionBeGone"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

  Commentary:
  Oh, so vaping is like the ultimate cockblocker for onlookers, huh? 😂🚭 Nothing like a cloud of vapor to spice up the atmosphere, or kill the mood, depending on who you ask! 💨🚫 So, watch out vapers, you might inadvertently be saving yourself from unwanted advances! 😅 #VapeAndChill

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

  Commentary:
  "Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

  Commentary:
  🐱😹 "When I rise from my slumber, my feline companion also rises with a look of blatant accusation, as if to say 'How dare you disturb our synchronized snooze schedule, human!' It's like we're part of the world's grumpiest early morning duo – 'The Wake-Up Whiskers'! 😼🎤"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal conundrum of cat behavior! 🐱 Is it a daring leap of faith like a first cat life, or a reckless daredevil act like a ninth cat life? The line between curiosity and catastrophe is as thin as a hairball on a tightrope! 😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

  Commentary:
  "Introducing two cats is like trying to mediate a treaty negotiation… 🐱🤝🐱 They couldn't care less about your political agenda, they just want to exchange some awkward licks and move on! 🤣 #CatsRulePoliticsDrool"

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