31 funny blame quotes - Wordgag ツ

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

1 month ago1 month ago

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

1 month ago1 month ago

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

2 months ago

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

2 months ago

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

2 months ago

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

2 months ago

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

2 months ago

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

2 months ago

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

2 months ago

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

2 months ago

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

2 months ago

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

2 months ago

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

2 months ago

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

2 months ago

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

2 months ago

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

2 months ago

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

2 months ago

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

2 months ago

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

2 months ago

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

2 months ago

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

2 months ago

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

2 months ago

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

2 months ago

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

2 months ago

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

2 months ago

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

3 months ago

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

5 months ago5 months ago

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

5 months ago5 months ago

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

5 months ago5 months ago

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

5 months ago5 months ago

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

6 months ago6 months ago