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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Spotted on Telegram:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Making waves on Discord:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Spotted on X:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Just landed via Threads:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

904 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,066

Funny Quotes Topics

14,007

Funny Quotes Images

11,066

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Spotted on X:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Trending via Instagram:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Live now on Instagram:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Shared recently on Facebook:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

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