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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,896

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,896

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Going viral on TikTok:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Trending via Facebook:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Trending via Discord:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Going viral on Threads:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Just shared via Telegram:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Trending via Reddit:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Reported on Instagram:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Breaking via Slack:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,896

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,896

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Making waves on Discord:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Just landed via Slack:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

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