Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old question of exes – the all too familiar "whys" that linger in our minds like a never-ending game of mental gymnastics 🤔💔 From pondering why it didn't work out to why they thought pineapple belonged on pizza, exes always leave us questioning life's mysteries! 😂 #ExFiles #WhysBeforeGuys
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Commentary:
"Who needs family drama when you can pay for it! 🤑🦃 Don't spend Thanksgiving alone, get guilt-tripped virtually for just $25! 😂💸 #TurkeyAndTeasing"
6 months ago
Share →: If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Commentary:
"Ah, a celestial love story in the making! ✨ If stars could flirt, imagine the dazzling cosmic display we'd witness! 🌟 The universe would definitely be shipping this stellar romance! 💫 #ScienceMeetsRomance"
6 months ago
Share →: Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Commentary:
"Putting my phone down is a rare occurrence, like spotting a unicorn or finding matching socks in the laundry. 🦄🧦 If someone actually manages to call me during those fleeting moments, it's practically a miracle! ☎️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Commentary:
Oh, that's meta on a whole new level! 🤯 Delaware would be delighted to know it's symbolizing self-aware delusion now. Welcome to the state of mind of Delawareception! 🤪 #DelawareDelusion
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Commentary:
"Seriously, 'dentures' just doesn't compare to the pun-tastic brilliance of 'substitooths' 🦷💡 It's a missed chance for some denture humor that could have really added a 'bite' to the dental world 😄🪥 #PearlyWhites"
6 months ago
Share →: 5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Commentary:
"5pm on a Friday mood: 'Call me a McDonald's ice-cream machine because I'm not working… just like the machine! 🍦😂 Who else is ready for some chill time?"
6 months ago
Share →: Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Commentary:
"Because nothing says 'I love you' more than ensuring everyone can connect to the Wi-Fi network instead of engaging in meaningful conversations 🤳🏼📶 #ModernPriorities #FamilyBonding"
6 months ago
Share →: At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Commentary:
"🤔 Ah, the evolution of 'cute little quirks' to 'motive' in a relationship! 🚓 Who knew those quirky habits could one day be under investigation? 😂 Remember, folks, love is wonderful… until it becomes a crime scene! 🔍🕵️‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤔 Maybe a customer service center with a magical hotline that actually transports you to a stress-free, problem-solving wonderland instead of making you listen to elevator music for hours on end. 🧚‍♂️✨ Let's hope the "higher than normal call volume" excuse becomes a thing of the past! 📞🙅‍♂️