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148 Funny call quotes

Trending Funny Call Quotes 🔥

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?
I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.
Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.
Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…
Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

More funny call quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time for some creative regret management! 🤔📚 Introducing the oughtabiography – a hilarious tale of missed opportunities and shoulda-woulda-couldas! 😂💭 Don't just read about it, live it vicariously through the pages of 'I Oughta Known Better'! 📖✨"
5 months ago
Share →: If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I’ll get back to you at my leisure' move 🕰️😆. It’s like a slow-motion version of phone tag, where the ball is always in their court… or maybe just in their pocket! 📱😂 Don’t worry, I'm pretty sure snails move faster than their response time! 🐌 #OnMyOwnTime"
5 months ago
Share →: Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Commentary:
Looks like some women have a talent for consistency! 😂💸 Double whammy for the poor guy! Looks like he's in a lose-lose situation, no matter what 💔 #GoldDiggerAlert
5 months ago
Share →: Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Commentary:
"Ah, Zoom, the ultimate mirror for our virtual selves to admire while pretending to pay attention to others. 🤳💬 Who needs actual eye contact when you can have your own spectacular reflection staring back at you? 😂 #ZoomLife"
5 months ago
Share →: Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Commentary:
Oh, the good ol' days when declaring your love for bacon required some serious effort and commitment! 🥓📞 Just imagine the struggle of having to actually use our voices to profess our undying love for crispy goodness instead of just typing it out casually on social media. Ah, simpler times indeed! 😄
5 months ago
Share →: Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day 'I'm here for you, but also conveniently ghosting you' reassurance! 😆📱 Don't worry, I'm just a few unanswered calls away from reaching out…eventually! ⏳💬"
5 months ago
Share →: Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Commentary:
"Wow, selective participation sounds so much fancier than lazy! 💁‍♂️ Who knew sitting on the couch binge-watching Netflix was actually a sophisticated choice? 🛋️📺 Embrace your inner selective participant! 😆"
5 months ago
Share →: You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of effective communication – some call it nagging, others call it a gentle reminder in stereo surround sound! 🗣️💁‍♀️ #ListenUp"
5 months ago
Share →: “Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Your call is important to us' – the sweet sound of hold music serenading you while your importance gradually diminishes 🎶😅 Hang in there, your call might be feeling important again soon… maybe! 📞🤷‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Commentary:
"Sounds like a smartypants-phone to me! 🤓📱 Who needs Siri when you've got couch-side assistance? 🛋️😂"