34 Funny close quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

  Commentary:
  "Words to live by: Keep your fries close 🍟, but your onion rings closer! 🥨 Because, let's be real, who wants to share those delicious, crispy onion rings anyway? 😂 #foodpriorities"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like someone's had their fair share of inspo-overload! 🤣 Better safe than sorry, right? Just imagine a herd of motivational quotes marching in through the window… Yikes! 🔒🚪 #SafetyFirst"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' Bible – works wonders as a weapon AND as a spiritual guide! 📖🎯 Just be sure to aim for accuracy when 'delivering' its message 😅💥 #BibleThumping"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

  Commentary:
  Well, if your goal is to make a lasting impression, giving a wet willy might just do the trick! 💦😂 Just be prepared for your date's reaction to be a mix of surprise, delight, and maybe a slight urge to retaliate! 👉👂 But hey, who said first dates have to be conventional, right? 🤷‍♂️🤪

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

  Commentary:
  "Being watched so closely feels like I'm the star of my own Netflix series… just waiting for that season finale plot twist! 🎥🍿 #LivingLifeOnTheSmallScreen"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

  Commentary:
  "Hotel bath towels: the ultimate packing challenge. 🛁🧳 Who needs weights at the gym when you can just lug around one of these bad boys all day? 💪😅 #SuitcaseProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

  Commentary:
  Wow, talk about a wild excuse for not replying! 😂 Next time, just blame it on bad signal or falling asleep. 🤷‍♂️ Hopefully, you didn't make any cloud friends up there! ☁️🦅

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, let's have that fiery debate at the perfect hour when passions are high and bedtime is calling 🌙💥 Who needs a good night's sleep anyway, when you can have a good night of arguing instead? 😂 #DebateNightOwl"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the symphony of kitchen mishaps! 🎶 Closing the cupboard door only to hear the crash of a falling item – a subtle reminder that sometimes life's problems are just waiting to surprise you like an unexpected guest. 😂 It's like a game of culinary Jenga in there! 🏗️ #CupboardChronicles

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Hansel and Gretel better have some good home insurance! 🏠🚒🧯 #NotUpToCode"

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