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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Going viral on WeChat:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Just shared via TikTok:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Making waves on X:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Just shared via Telegram:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Just landed via X:

The void screams into me.

Breaking via Reddit:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Trending via Discord:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

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Funny cognitive bias quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Going viral on X:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Reported on Telegram:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Freshly posted on Threads:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Just shared via Telegram:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Just landed via Telegram:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Reported on Reddit:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

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