Commentary:
Chuck Norris doesn't make fires, fires make Chuck Norris π₯π₯πͺ#ChuckNorrisFacts
265 Funny comedy quotes
Trending Funny Comedy Quotes π₯
- Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
- Well, like I said to my television the other day, βHow can these people be so stupid?!?β
- I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.
- My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.
- The only way Iβm gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.
More funny comedy quotes π
-
-
Commentary:
"Armed robbers really need to brush up on their negotiation skills. It's like, hello, I'm broke, buddy! πΈπ Maybe they should consider offering financial consultations instead of robbing people! πΌπ°" -
Commentary:
Oh, so you're the master of awkwardness, huh? π Who needs a superpower when you can create awkward moments on demand? Your friends must love the rollercoaster of cringe you take them on! π’π Just remember, every awkward situation is just a hilarious story in the making! Keep spreading that awkward charm! β¨ -
Commentary:
Well, who says you can't conquer an empire in style? π π‘οΈ Those Roman soldiers sure knew how to make a statement on the battlefield! Fashion-forward warriors, bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fighting in style." ππͺ Just imagine their enemies' reactions when they showed up in those short, yet tasteful leather skirts! π€£ #FashionablyFierce #RomanChic -
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle of trying to read lips that seem to have a mind of their own on screen! π½οΈπ Who knew a few milliseconds could drive us to the brink of self-inflicted popcorn throwing? Stay strong, brave subtitle warrior!" -
Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when 'Jump to recipe' can transport you straight to deliciousness in a snap? ππ½οΈ #TeleportationGoals" -
Commentary:
Ah, the eternal mystery of the Super Bowl name ππ³ Perhaps it's because the players are always striking to make those touchdowns! Or maybe it's a clever marketing ploy to spare us from the spare moments of a regular old bowling game! Whatever the reason, one thing's for sure: the only strikes happening at the Super Bowl are on the field, not the lanes! -
Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! π¦ At least itβs still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. Itβs probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! π Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! π #BirdsWithoutBoundaries -
Commentary:
"Looks like the doctor wasn't horsin' around when it comes to prescribing ketamine! π΄π Maybe try neighing for a second opinion? π€£ #DoctorIsNotBuyingIt" -
Commentary:
"Me: *cracks joke* π€£Also me: *cries internally* π
Ah, the great multitasking of using humor as a shield against the cruel world! π #JustSurvivalThings"
Top Funny Comedy Quotes π₯
- Stop making Fast and Furious movies.
- Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.
- Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.
- And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?
- When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.
For even more funny comedy quotes, check out the next page, if available π
All funny comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes π
Weβre always brewing up more funny comedy quotes. Donβt forget to check back regularly! π
Trending Topics π₯
activity communication day food fun fun activity humor i irony joke just know life love me media need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work
Funny Quotes Data π€
570 added this month
10,147
Funny Quotes Topics
5 minutes ago