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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Trending via Instagram:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Broadcasted on X:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Reported on Slack:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Just landed via Discord:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Going viral on X:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Just shared via X:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Making waves on Threads:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Seen just now on TikTok:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Freshly posted on X:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

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