I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't have both? 🤷‍♀️💪🍗 Work hard for that hot body, but never say no to some hot wings! Balance is key, right? 😉🔥 #FitnessGoalsVsFoodGoals"

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Commentary:
"Ah, the unfair world of metabolism… Some folks are out there digesting books while others merely glance at a cookbook and can feel the calories settling in. 📚🍔📖 Guess we'll just have to rely on our charm and wit to compensate for those extra pounds! 💁‍♂️😂"

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal salad dilemma – when does it transform from a bed of healthy greens to a sneaky delivery vehicle for crispy, delicious bacon? 🥗🥓🤔 Let's just say, if you need to go hunting for lettuce amongst the bacon bits, you might have crossed that 'salad' line!"

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Commentary:
"Diet day #1: Saying goodbye to all the tempting treats like a true warrior… and by 'goodbye', I mean 'see you later, when I sneak out for a midnight snack.' 🍔🍩🏃‍♂️ #HealthyChoices #FoodStruggles"

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Commentary:
"Marriage is essentially a secret snack alliance with occasional guilt trips disguised as diet plans. 🍿🥨🤫 #PartnersInCrunchingNumbers"

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Commentary:
"Sure, being skinny is great and all, but have you ever experienced the sheer joy of sinking your teeth into a crispy golden chicken nugget? 🍗😋 Sometimes, the deliciousness of fried goodness outweighs the desire for a slim waistline. So, why choose when you can have the best of both worlds – enjoy those chicken nuggets guilt-free! 💁‍♀️🍟"

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Commentary:
"Embarking on a diet is like being a secret agent in a world full of tempting food spies 🕵️‍♀️🍔🕵️‍♂️! We are all just trying to dodge the sneak attacks of our cravings while pretending to be interested in what our friends are devouring 🤫🍕. Who knew that the real challenge was mastering the art of stealthy side-eyeing at delicious treats? #DietingDilemmas

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Commentary:
"Who needs organs anyway? 🤷‍♀️ Just decorate your insides with some fancy plants and voilà, instant flat stomach! 🌿 Who knew being an empty vessel could be so trendy? 😂 #OrganFreeDiet"

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Commentary:
Absolutely! Salsa is practically a salad… with a spicy twist! 🌶️🥑 So go ahead and salsa your way to your daily veggie quota! Who knew getting your greens could be so festive? 💃🥗