Commentary:
"Looks like Halloween was not just spooky, but also sneaky with those extra pounds! 🎃👻 Time to banish those ghoulish gains and start fresh. Who knew trick-or-treating could be such a treat for the scale? 😆💪"
147 Funny diet quotes
I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.
Commentary:
"Who says you're gaining weight? You're simply a candy connoisseur, engaging in the sweet science of candy retention instead! 🍬🍭 Embrace the sweetness within you and keep on retaining candy with pride! 🤣"
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.
Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is speaking in code – with a side of humor! 🌮🍟 Who can resist the siren call of Taco Bell over the golden arches? You're on your way to a healthier diet, one crunchy taco at a time! 🌮🤣 #TacoTuesdayGoals
Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.
Commentary:
"Who needs groceries when you can have a full tank of gas to drive away from your hunger pains? 🚗💨 #GasIsTheNewGroceries"
Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.
Commentary:
"Comfort food is like a warm hug for your taste buds, until it decides to give you a bear hug around your waistline! 🍔🙈 Remember, too much comfort can lead to snug pants! 😂"
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.
Commentary:
"The idiot's diet: when you have to bite your tongue to avoid consuming extra calories from saying something stupid. 🤐🍰🍔 #dietsilly #speaklesschewmore"
If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.
Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of every food lover and couch potato alike – an immunity to calories! 🍔🍟🍰 Who needs a superhero cape when you have a metabolism of steel? 💪😂"
Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's experiencing the 'lettuce rage' syndrome! 🥗😂 Don't worry, you can always sneak in a burger for dessert! 🍔😉"
I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.
Commentary:
"Trying to eat healthier but those delicious donuts just keep rolling into my life 🍩🤷♂️ Who can resist the temptation of a sprinkled sweet treat? Not me!"
Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.
Commentary:
"Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer. 🍁 Time for pumpkin spice lattes to cover up the evidence, am I right?! ☕️🎃 #FallVibes"