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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Spreading quickly via X:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

22 Funny dinosaur quotes

Funny dinosaur quotes 🦖 bring a roaring good time to your day! Whether you’re a dino lover or just in need of a prehistoric chuckle 😂, these witty and clever sayings will have you hatching laughs in no time. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding a Jurassic twist to your posts 🦕, get ready to unleash some timeless humor that’s truly dino-mite! 🎉🦴

New funny dinosaur quotes 👇

For even more funny dinosaur quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dinosaur quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

49 shares on Slack this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

50 shares on X this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

10 shares on X this month:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Trending via Facebook:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Breaking via Telegram:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Going viral on Telegram:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Going bananas on TikTok:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Making waves on Slack:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

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