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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Trending via Reddit:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Just landed via Threads:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Just shared via Twitch:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Going viral on Instagram:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Reported on LinkedIn:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Seen just now on Instagram:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

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