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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Trending via Messenger:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Spotted on WeChat:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Just shared via Facebook:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Making waves on YouTube:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Spotted on YouTube:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Funny flu quotes

Funny flu quotes 😂🤧 bring a lighthearted twist to those pesky sniffles and sneezes! When your nose won’t stop running and your energy’s on vacation, a little humor is the best medicine 💊😄. Whether you’re stuck in bed or just need a chuckle, these witty sayings will turn your flu blues into giggles. Ready to laugh through the sniffles? Let’s dive into some hilarious flu fun! 🛌🤣

New funny flu quotes 👇

All funny flu quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

63 shares on X this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Just shared via X:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Just landed via YouTube:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Going bananas on Twitch:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

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