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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Just shared via Threads:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Seen just now on Messenger:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Going viral on Slack:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

42 Funny forever quotes

Funny forever quotes 😄 are like a never-ending supply of giggles and chuckles, perfect for injecting a bit of humor into your day! Whether you’re sharing a laugh with friends online 😂 or scribbling them in your journal 📓, these witty gems keep the good vibes rolling. Add a dash of whimsy to your conversations and let the laughter echo through time ⏳. Embrace the joy and spread the smiles! 🌟

New funny forever quotes 👇

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

6 days ago

after, back, colleague, exhaustion, forever, humor, lads, leisure, mistake, prayer, prayers, reason, return, thinking, thoughts, tomorrow, us, work
Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

6 days ago

downs, forever, hard, humor, life, metaphor, never, penis, resilience, sexuality, sometimes, ups, ups and downs
My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

6 days ago

climate, forever, gone, humor, keys, life, lost, lost keys, misfortune, name, new, new life, new name, relocation, snow, start, time, under, warmer, warmer climate
The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

6 days ago

behavior, best, forever, humor, media, observer, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter
Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

6 days ago

backflip, dream, forever, funny dream, just, memory, show, someone, stranger, surprise, unexpected, unexpected visitor, visitor
Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

7 days ago

annoyance, appliance, beep, feature, forever, kitchen, microwave, sound, timer
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

7 days ago

Batman, Batman Forever, ever, forever, funny observation, humor, kiss, Kiss From a Rose, most, movie, movie quote, nostalgia, observation, romantic, romantic movie, rose, think
If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

7 days ago

chaos, contestant, contestants, course, drunk, every, forever, humor, i, island, life, love, Love Island, party, pool, reality, reality show, show, wasted
Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

1 week ago

adulthood, after, being, day, exhaustion, fatigue, forever, humor, just, life, tired, waking, waking up
Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

1 week ago

challenge, communication, easy, forever, hard, humor, living, message, messages, permanence, relationships

For even more funny forever quotes, hit next 👇

All funny forever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

79 shares on Threads this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Going viral on Twitch:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Going viral on Messenger:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Just shared via WeChat:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Just landed via Slack:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

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