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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Making waves on Facebook:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Breaking via TikTok:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Going viral on YouTube:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Making waves on Threads:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Funny Friday the 13th quotes

New funny Friday the 13th quotes 👇

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

2 weeks ago

13th, asked, call, conference, conference call, conversation, conversation starter, experience, Friday, Friday the 13th, hockey, hockey mask, humor, mask, spooky, starter, unique, unique experience, workplace

All funny Friday the 13th quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

67 shares on Facebook this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

38 shares on X this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

30 shares on X this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Breaking via Discord:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Friday the 13th quotes

New funny Friday the 13th quotes 👇

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

All funny Friday the 13th quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨