You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Commentary:
"Popcorn: the ultimate truth serum 🍿🧐 It's amazing how a snack can reveal a person's true colors! That's why I always bring extra butter to movie nights, you never know what revelations might pop up 😉🎬"

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Oh, the kingly art of choosing the slowest checkout line—truly a Jedi master level skill! 💁‍♂️⏳ May your patience be everlasting, and your groceries never wilt in the wait! 🛒😅 #ChampionOfCheckoutChaos"

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Commentary:
"Let's face it, dodging social gatherings like a pro is not exactly an Olympic sport 🤷‍♂️. But hey, at least you've mastered the art of 'Me Time' like a true connoisseur! 🏅 #SocialAvoidancePro #IntrovertLife"

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Commentary:
Oh yeah, real life…that place where the WiFi is weak, the coffee is cold, and the sun is trying to kill you 🌞🙅‍♂️ Who needs that when you can scroll through endless cat videos in the comfort of your pajamas? 😂🐱 #LivingForTheMemes

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Commentary:
🔬 "Met a microbiologist once. They're a lot bigger than I imagined. Turns out, their world is just as tiny as the bacteria they study! 🦠 Who knew science could make a person feel so small yet so significant at the same time?"

It's so foggy outside. Y'all gotta stop vaping.

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Commentary:
"Looks like Mother Nature got ahold of some vape juice again 🌫️💨 Might wanna lay off the vape pens and let the fog machine do its job outside!"

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Commentary:
Oh man, having a peanut allergy must be quite the adventure! 🥜🐍 Just when you thought dodging foul balls was challenging enough, now you have airborne rattlesnakes to contend with! Talk about taking "peanut gallery" to a whole new level! Stay alert, folks! 🤣🥜🐍 #AllergyAdventures

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Commentary:
"Ah, the latest trend in public transportation chic: the art of coughing on the bus. 🚌💨 Who needs perfume or cologne when you can just share your germs instead? 😷💁🏻‍♂️ Just remember folks, sharing is caring… unless it's germs. 🤣🤢 #CoughingCouture"

Bro, you're not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's wife is a total jaw-dropper! 🤭👀 Maybe it's time for a strict "no staircases made of drooling tongues" rule at the next family gathering! 😂💃 Better keep that tongue in line, bro!

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like someone's bladder is making bold moves today! 😄👀 Who knew bladders had so much attitude? Watch out world, we've got a sassy organ on the loose! 🕺💁‍♂️