Commentary:
I must have hired my dog as a full-time stress consultant 😂🐶💼
151 Funny funny observation quotes
I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’
Commentary:
When the cats get better realtor deals than you 🏠🐈😸
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.
Commentary:
When my dog sees me in jeans instead of pajamas, he assumes I'm going to the Met Gala 🐶👖😆
Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.
Commentary:
Antique chairs: the VIP seats of history's butt party! 🍑🪑😆
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.
Commentary:
Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳
The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.
Commentary:
Trying to exit a hammock is like a trust exercise with gravity 😂🌍💪
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.
Commentary:
Move over, Titanic! Batman Forever is the true love story 😂🌹🦇
Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.
Commentary:
Trying Pilates for the first time and realizing women have been secretly training to become rubber bands 🧘♀️😂
I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.
Commentary:
Sounds like my fridge and I have the same work ethic: hum a little, pretend to concentrate, and hope nobody notices 🎶🧊😅
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.
Commentary:
Who knew that the secret to world peace was just to make everything gummy? 🤔🧸🍬