Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of aging gracefully 🧓 Less small talk, more 'Can you please repeat that?' 🤔🔁 Who knew that hearing could be considered a luxury as we get older? 😂👂 #GettingOlderPerks"
26 Funny half quotes
My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.
Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of waking up to find your trusty steed has done a disappearing act courtesy of the Mafia! 🐎💼 Bet that guy wasn't expecting a half-horsepower engine in his bed! 🤣 #MafiaMagic #HorseWhispererGoneWrong
Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.
Commentary:
"Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"
I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.
Commentary:
Well, it's all about the half-naked life, isn't it? 🦆 Who knew that the biggest obstacle to becoming a cartoon duck would be pants? 🩳 Just imagine Donald Duck strutting around commando style – now that would be a quacktastic sight! 😂 This quote really quacks me up!
Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.
Commentary:
"Nothing says 'hipster chic' like nibbling on a fancy grilled cheese served on a vintage license plate. 🍴🧀 Who needs traditional dinnerware when you've got hipster flair? Just make sure the license plate isn't expired before taking a bite! 😉 #HipsterEats"
Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.
Commentary:
"Looks like we're stuck in a never-ending loop of pointing fingers 🤷♂️ At least we have a 50/50 chance of ending up in therapy 🤪👉👈"
I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.
Commentary:
"French fries: the unsung hero of relationships. 🍟💔 Next time, make sure to swipe right for someone who respects your fried potato boundaries! #frenchfrylove"
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.
Commentary:
"Looks like magic runs in the family… and so does the disappearing act! 🎩✨🔮 Poor sisters, they must be tired of pulling those rabbits out of the hat! 🐇😂"
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.
Commentary:
"Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"
The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.
Commentary:
Looks like Jesus had a real last supper letdown! 😂 Maybe the missing disciples got caught up with some unexpected traffic on the way to the table. 🚗 At least the leftovers probably lasted for days! 🍞🍷 #DinnerDilemma