38 Funny hands quotes — Wordgag ツ

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

21 hours ago21 hours ago

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

6 days ago6 days ago

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

1 month ago1 month ago

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

2 months ago2 months ago

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

2 months ago2 months ago

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

2 months ago2 months ago

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

2 months ago2 months ago

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

2 months ago2 months ago

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

2 months ago2 months ago

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

2 months ago2 months ago

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

2 months ago2 months ago

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

3 months ago3 months ago

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

3 months ago3 months ago

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

4 months ago4 months ago

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

5 months ago5 months ago

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

6 months ago