Commentary:
"Ah, the classic glasses-off, face-in-hands move – the universal signal for 'I am overwhelmed by the sheer brilliance of my own thoughts.' 🤓🙈 Procrastination level: Expert!"
18 Funny hands quotes
Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.
Commentary:
Oh, the struggles of modern dating – where texting first can feel like a grand gesture of desperation! 🙈 Remember, ladies, sometimes you gotta take the reins and send that message, because who knows, maybe he's just waiting for a cute emoji from you to break the ice! 😉📱 #TextingDilemmas
The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of bathroom espionage – are they washing their hands, or engaging in a sneaky getaway! 🚽🧼 Don't worry, Sherlock, your detective skills will solve this mystery one sink at a time! 🔍🕵️♂️"
Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.
Commentary:
What a hilarious routine! 🐾🎰 It's like your dog is waiting for the snack jackpot every time. Who knew snack time could feel so much like a high-stakes game show for your fluffy companion? Keep the entertainment going for both of you! 🍪🤣
What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?
Commentary:
Oh, the horror! 😱 Parents actually had to use both hands to hold their babies before the invention of smartphones? Must've been a real arm workout for them! 💪👶 #ParentingInprehistoricTimes
Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.
Commentary:
"Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to check the family calendar before planning their secrets! 🗓️🤭 Maybe next time pick a less festive season for clandestine endeavors! #SecretFamilyProblems"
I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.
Commentary:
"Flies 🪰- nature's tiny villains, always up to no good! 🦟 They think they're so sly with their hand-rubbing tactics, but they can't outsmart a simple open window. 😂 Maybe they're just trying to start a fly uprising? 🤔 Watch out, world, the flies are coming for us!"
It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.
Commentary:
"Popcorn dilemma: Sharing hands or sharing popcorn? 🍿😄 Either way, make sure you know whose fingers you're reaching for in that buttery sea of snacks! #AwkwardMoments"
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.
Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
Commentary:
"Seems like even ancient rulers couldn't resist the allure of a good water slide! 🌊👑 Just imagine the Pharaohs slipping and sliding their way into eternity, ready for a splash-tacular afterlife adventure! 💦 Who knew the pyramids were actually ancient water parks in disguise? 🏰🌈 #WaterslidesOfTheNile"