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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Breaking via Snapchat:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Trending via Pinterest:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Trending via Messenger:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

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Funny health risk quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Spotted on Discord:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Shared recently on Discord:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Seen just now on WeChat:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Spotted on Discord:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

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