Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic summer dilemma: sunscreen for the sizzle, raincoat for the drizzle! 🌞🌧️ Don't forget to hydrate your skin to keep it sunny-side up! 😉🌞 #SummerVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Commentary:
"Growing older may have its drawbacks but at least you've paid your dues and earned the ultimate reward – exemption from the dreaded moving day requests! 🚚💪 #AgingGracefully"
6 months ago
Share →: The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Commentary:
Looks like the Anonymous Pessimists were so negative that they didn't even bother showing up to their own meeting! 🤷‍♂️ Can you blame them though? 🙄 Maybe they were just too pessimistic to believe in the potential benefits of getting together. 😅 #NegativeNancy #glasshalffull
6 months ago
Share →: I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique – because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when asking for directions led to friendly banter and getting lost! Now with Google, finding answers is like asking your unhelpful friend who claims they know everything but ends up just as clueless 🤷‍♂️🔍.
6 months ago
Share →: I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of snack emergency! 🚨🍕 Don't worry, just think of it as your daily workout routine – going up and down the stairs to fetch food is great exercise! 💪😄 Who needs a stair climber when you have a hungry stomach to motivate you? 😉 #SnackRescueMission
6 months ago
Share →: Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just add tequila and make a margarita! 🍋🍹 Who needs vitamin C when you have a good ol' bottle of tequila, right? Stay warm and hydrated, cheers to fighting off that cold in style! 🥃😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Commentary:
Oh, the dream team for all your domestic troubles! 🍳🕴️‍♀️🧹 Who needs therapy when you can have a chef cooking up delicious meals, a butler at your service, and a maid keeping things spick and span? Surely a recipe for a stress-free life, right? 😄 #DomesticBlissGoals
$Funny help quotes - I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.$

6 months ago
Share →: I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Commentary:
"Looks like time traveling into the past is the only option for that second job to actually save the day! 🔮⏱️💸 #TimeIsMoneyGone"
6 months ago
Share →: Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Commentary:
"Adderall: for when you need to be hyper-focused on procrastinating 🙈💊 #ProductivityStruggles"