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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just shared via Twitch:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Trending via TikTok:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Making waves on Facebook:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Seen just now on X:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Live now on Discord:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

114 Funny hot quotes

More funny hot quotes 👇

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

3 days ago

air, blow, blowing, blowing air, cooling, fan, girlfriend, heat, hot, humor, i, me, relationship
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

3 days ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work
It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

3 days ago

getting, guitar, harmonica, heat, hot, hot weather, instrument, music, outdoor, outside, slide, slide guitar, summer, weather
It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

3 days ago

bath, bird, bird bath, brunch, chipmunk, heat, hot, hot tub, humor, menu, Mimosa, summer, tub, using
Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

3 days ago

bed, blanket, blankets, book, books, care, cozy, forget, girl, hot, hot girl summer, layers, laying, reading, relaxation, rot, rot girl summer, self, self-care, soft, summer, under
I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

3 days ago

ability, aging, back, difficulty, drop, drop it, harder, hot, humor, i, just, lot, physical, physical ability, pick, still
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

3 days ago

attractiveness, bro, gender, hairstyle, hot, humor, only, ponytail, woman, women
If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

3 days ago

able, casual, casual dining, dining, dog, dogs, face, fast, fast food, food, hot, hot dog, humor, joke, McDonald’s, order, restaurant, satire, sold, straight, tell, wordplay
My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

3 days ago

being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking
Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

4 days ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird

For even more funny hot quotes, hit next 👇

All funny hot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

73 shares on Reddit this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

27 shares on Threads this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

93 shares on Discord this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Shared recently on X:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Just shared via X:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Just shared via X:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Activity Log ✨

114 Funny hot quotes

More funny hot quotes 👇

All funny hot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨