114 funny hot quotes - Page 3

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

2 months ago

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

2 months ago

I put the hot in psychotic.

2 months ago

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

2 months ago

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

3 months ago

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

3 months ago

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

3 months ago

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

3 months ago

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

3 months ago

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

3 months ago

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

3 months ago

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

3 months ago

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

3 months ago

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

3 months ago3 months ago

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

3 months ago3 months ago

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

3 months ago3 months ago

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

4 months ago4 months ago

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

5 months ago5 months ago

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

5 months ago5 months ago

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

5 months ago5 months ago

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

5 months ago5 months ago

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

5 months ago5 months ago

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

5 months ago5 months ago

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

6 months ago6 months ago

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

6 months ago6 months ago

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

6 months ago6 months ago

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

6 months ago6 months ago

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

6 months ago6 months ago

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

6 months ago6 months ago

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

6 months ago6 months ago

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

6 months ago6 months ago

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

6 months ago6 months ago

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

6 months ago6 months ago

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

6 months ago6 months ago