Funny quotes ID

92 Funny ID quotes

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

4 weeks ago

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

1 month ago

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

1 month ago

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

2 months ago

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

2 months ago

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

2 months ago

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

2 months ago

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

3 months ago

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

3 months ago

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

3 months ago

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

3 months ago

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

3 months ago

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

3 months ago

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

3 months ago

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

3 months ago

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

3 months ago

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

3 months ago

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

3 months ago

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

3 months ago

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

3 months ago