158 Funny ID quotes

• If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

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  7 hours ago

  birthday, communication, full, full name, humor, i, ID, name, question, relationship, text, things, wife

• You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

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  2 days ago

  amount, decision, humor, i, ID, irony, overthinking, right, self-reflection, think

• For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

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  1 week ago

  Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish

• Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

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  3 weeks ago

  again, back, break, comeback, figure, health, humor, ID, irony, media, mental, mental health, ruin, self-deprecation, social, social media, Twitter

• For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

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  3 weeks ago

  Christmas, communication, humor, ID, understanding, wish

• If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

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  3 weeks ago

  fish, humor, i, ID, pun, seaweed, smoking

• My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

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  1 month ago

  dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank

• Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

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  2 months ago

  aging, before, bit, clerk, humor, i, ID, interaction, joke, just, office, over, photo, post, post office, queue, said, taken, yes

• I’d rather lose you than the argument.

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  2 months ago

  argument, communication, conflict, humor, ID, lose, love, prioritization, relationship

• If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

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  2 months ago

  calorie, consider, conversation, fitness, humor, ID, interaction, maybe, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk

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