Funny quotes ID

92 Funny ID quotes

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Funny Quotes Mar 27, 2025

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Funny Quotes Feb 20, 2025

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025