What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the mosquitoes were practicing some ankle-biting moves straight out of a martial arts movie! 🦟💥 Better put on some extra insect repellent next time to avoid becoming their next kung fu target! 😂"

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Commentary:
Well, that's a new twist on the classic excuse! 🦌🔴 Who knew Rudolph's side hustle was causing traffic incidents? Just imagine the officer's confusion trying to write up that report! 😂 #UnlikelyExcuses