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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say β€œguess where I am”. The library?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has shared:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

If she says β€œit’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I’m sorry, but when you call me β€˜batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via YouTube:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Making waves on YouTube:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Trending via Telegram:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Making waves on X:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Fries, not lies.

Funny introduce quotes

Funny introduce quotes are the perfect icebreaker 🧊 to kick off any conversation with a burst of laughter πŸ˜‚ and good vibes ✨. Whether you’re meeting new friends or stepping onto the stage 🎀, a witty intro can turn awkward silences into unforgettable moments πŸ‘. Ready to charm your crowd and break the ice with humor? Let’s dive into some laughs that say hello in the most memorable way! πŸŽ‰πŸ˜„

New funny introduce quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny introduce quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

58 shares on Slack this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

β€œWinter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, β€œWhoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has copied:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Making waves on WeChat:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Spotted on Facebook:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Making waves on TikTok:

Satan: β€œI’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Breaking via Discord:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

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