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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on Slack:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spotted on Instagram:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Just landed via Discord:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Just landed via X:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Live now on Reddit:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

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1522 Funny irony quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Seen just now on Twitch:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Shared recently on Threads:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Trending via Slack:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Just shared via Slack:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

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