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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Spotted on YouTube:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Just landed via Instagram:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Trending via Telegram:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Going viral on X:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Trending via Threads:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Funny Kardashian quotes

Funny Kardashian quotes bring the glitz, glam, and humor of reality TV right to you! 💄😂 Whether you’re keeping up with the Kardashians or just love a good laugh, these quotes are sure to entertain and give you a fun perspective on life in the spotlight. 🌟😆

New funny Kardashian quotes 👇

All funny Kardashian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Instagram this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

81 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

78 shares on X this month:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Just landed via X:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Just landed via TikTok:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Spotted on Slack:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Freshly posted on X:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Just shared via Messenger:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

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