39 Funny loss quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique – because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like patience weighs more than we thought! 🤣 Maybe try a 'lose your patience' diet next time, it seems more effective! 🍩🕰️ #DietFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

  Commentary:
  "Need to shed some pounds for summer? No problem! Just sneak those extra snacks into your luggage at the airport and voilà – instant weight loss, guaranteed! 🧳✈️ Say goodbye to those pesky pounds, bon voyage!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

  Commentary:
  Oh, so it's been a "missing composure" case since '92? 🕵️‍♂️ Sounds like it's pulling off a great disappearing act! Maybe it's hanging out with those missing socks somewhere… 🧦😄 Who needs composure anyways when you have charm and wit in abundance, right? 💁‍♂️ #ComposureMystery

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

  Commentary:
  "Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that smooth legs could double up as a diet plan! 😂🦵 Say goodbye to the gym and hello to silky smoothness! 🏋️‍♀️💨 #LegDayGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've got the ultimate winter survival strategy – move over bears, there's a new hibernator in town! 🐻🍔 #HibernateAndChill"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

  Commentary:
  "Diet day #1: Saying goodbye to all the tempting treats like a true warrior… and by 'goodbye', I mean 'see you later, when I sneak out for a midnight snack.' 🍔🍩🏃‍♂️ #HealthyChoices #FoodStruggles"

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