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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Just shared via Slack:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Spotted on X:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Trending via Slack:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Just shared via Slack:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Trending via WeChat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Funny low-rise jean quotes

New funny low-rise jean quotes 👇

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

4 weeks ago

apologize, apology, daughter, era, family, family relationship, fashion, fashion era, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, jean, jeans, low-rise, low-rise jean, parent, parents, relationship, teenage, teenage daughter, top, tube, tube top

All funny low-rise jean quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a day off from myself.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

57 shares on X this month:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Making waves on Telegram:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Going bananas on Discord:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Live now on Instagram:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Going viral on Messenger:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny low-rise jean quotes

New funny low-rise jean quotes 👇

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

All funny low-rise jean quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨