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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Live now on Telegram:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Trending via Snapchat:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Trending via Facebook:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Live now on YouTube:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Spotted on Discord:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Going viral on Reddit:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

24 Funny meme quotes

Funny meme quotes bring instant laughter 😂 and brighten up your day with clever wit and relatable moments 🤣. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your feed, these hilarious lines turn everyday situations into pure comedy gold 💥🎉. Get ready to LOL and spread good vibes with the funniest captions around! 😜🔥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

67 shares on X this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

48 shares on Threads this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Going viral on YouTube:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How do I un-know people?

Just landed via Discord:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Going viral on Threads:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

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