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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1133 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,295

Funny Quotes Topics

14,205

Funny Quotes Images

11,295

7 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Spotted on Discord:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just shared via Instagram:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Live now on Slack:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Home » Funny Metallica Quotes

Funny Metallica quotes

Funny Metallica quotes 🤘 bring the perfect mix of headbanging humor and rockstar wit! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good laugh 🤣, these gems capture the band’s legendary attitude with a playful twist. Get ready to rock out and smile wide because Metallica’s not just metal—they’re seriously funny too! 🎸🔥

New funny Metallica quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Commentary:
Dream big! Maybe start with a kazoo solo 😄🤘🎸
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Commentary:
"When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! 🎸🤘😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Commentary:
Ah, Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" perfectly captures the electric feeling of savoring those precious 5 minutes of blissful shut-eye before the alarm rudely interrupts the rock concert in your dreams 🎸🎶 Who knew heavy metal could be so soothing to the snooze button aficionados? 😄

For even more funny Metallica quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Metallica quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1133 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,295

Funny Quotes Topics

14,205

Funny Quotes Images

11,295

7 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Spotted on Threads:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Spotted on Discord:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Spotted on X:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Making waves on Twitch:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

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