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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

43 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Spotted on Facebook:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Just landed via WeChat:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Reported on Snapchat:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Spotted on YouTube:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Just shared via Pinterest:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Going viral on WeChat:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Home » Funny Mind Quotes

78 Funny mind quotes

Funny mind quotes 🤯😂 are the perfect brain ticklers, ready to turn your cerebral chaos into giggles. Dive into a world where neurons play hopscotch, and wisdom wears a clown nose! Whether you’re outsmarting your own thoughts or just looking for a mental chuckle, these quotes will have your gray matter doing a happy dance! Get ready to think and laugh simultaneously—because who says you can’t multitask with humor? 🎉🧠

New funny mind quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Commentary:
My brain is a Broadway star when I'm trying to sleep – tap dancing through every cringe moment 🕺💤💭😅
5 days ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!
5 days ago
Share →: The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Commentary:
Achieving absolute singularity: when you and your countless imaginary cats star in your love song playlist 🎶🐱😂
6 days ago
Share →: Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
1 week ago
Share →: Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Commentary:
"Sure, just make sure to use the 'gentle destruction' setting! 😂🔨💔"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Commentary:
"When your brain's giving you anxiety and your stomach's giving you… something else. 💭💨 #MindFarts"
4 weeks ago
Share →: “It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Commentary:
"Guess you're swimming in the kiddie pool of thoughts! 🤔🤿😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Commentary:
"That song is living in my head rent-free 🎶🤔 At least it's a good tenant! 😅🧠"
1 month ago
Share →: The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Commentary:
"Pretty sure my brain installed an invisible reset button at the door! 🤔🔄😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

…

Commentary:
"Forget extraterrestrial life — I'm just over here swatting at imaginary UFOs! 👽🦟😂"

For even more funny mind quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny mind quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

43 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Freshly posted on X:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Reported on Pinterest:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Making waves on X:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Making waves on Threads:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

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