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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

114 Funny mind quotes

Funny mind quotes 🤯😂 are the perfect brain ticklers, ready to turn your cerebral chaos into giggles. Dive into a world where neurons play hopscotch, and wisdom wears a clown nose! Whether you’re outsmarting your own thoughts or just looking for a mental chuckle, these quotes will have your gray matter doing a happy dance! Get ready to think and laugh simultaneously—because who says you can’t multitask with humor? 🎉🧠

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Posted onMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Posted onMay 25, 2026May 25, 2026

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

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