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New funny quotes: 14440 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 28, 2026

 

 

 

 

114 Funny mind quotes

Funny mind quotes 🤯😂 are the perfect brain ticklers, ready to turn your cerebral chaos into giggles. Dive into a world where neurons play hopscotch, and wisdom wears a clown nose! Whether you’re outsmarting your own thoughts or just looking for a mental chuckle, these quotes will have your gray matter doing a happy dance! Get ready to think and laugh simultaneously—because who says you can’t multitask with humor? 🎉🧠

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Posted onMay 24, 2026

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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