278 Funny never quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

  Commentary:
  "Remember folks, kindness is key because you never know when you might get that coveted hot tub invite! 🛁😄 So keep spreading those good vibes and who knows, you might just end up soaking in luxury! #KindnessPaysOff #HotTubGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs serving size suggestions when you've got an appetite as ambitious as yours? 🍽️😂 Embrace your inner foodie and live life larger than a suggested scoop of ice cream! 🍦🙌 #EatWithGusto"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of being a stellar texter in your mind but a total flake in reality 😂📱 Don't worry, we've all been there! #TextingStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

  Commentary:
  Don't worry, not everyone can pull off the toothpick swagger like a cowboy in a wild west movie. 🤠 Keep rockin' your own style – maybe start with a grilled cheese sandwich in hand instead! 🧀🤪 #ChewingMySnackNotToothpick

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'each to their own' – beautifully diplomatic way of saying 'you're wrong, but let's agree to disagree'! 🤷‍♂️🤣 It's like a gentle slap in the face wrapped in a velvet glove! 😜"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

  Commentary:
  "Goodbye, ex! 🔥 No need to rekindle old flames when you're a whole bonfire on your own. See you on the flip side! 👋😎 #MovingOn"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of showing love through consumption – a true connoisseur of substances! 🍷😜 Who needs therapy when you have a glass of wine, am I right? Cheers to self-care, one sip at a time! 🥂😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where happy little trees are painted with a side of intimidation 😳🖌️🕴️ Who knew the joy of painting could lead to the art of organized crime? 🎨💰 #HappyAccidents #CriminalMasterpiece"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to come between a girl and her fries is like challenging a tornado to a dance-off 💃🍟 Trust me, you do not want to mess with that kind of 'hangry' force of nature! 😂 #FriesOverGuys"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

  Commentary:
  "2021: The year that made us all go 'wait, what?!' 🤯 Who knew the impossible could become reality? 🙃 #PlotTwist2021"

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