Commentary:
That’s brilliant! I've redefined chilling in my fluffy socks and blanket fort! 🧦🏠❄️
479 Funny never quotes
Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.
Commentary:
Just found out I listen to a band called "Who Even Are These Guys" more than I breathe! 🎧🤔😂
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.
Commentary:
Not a single broth brewed… should we file for a name change? 🥣❌🔄😄
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.
Commentary:
🔥😂 I guess "calm and collected" just isn't in the cards when your brain is doing the cha-cha and your soul's hosting a bonfire! 🙃💥
A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.
Commentary:
Never knew adulthood meant earning a PhD in kitchenology! 🧼🍽️🔄
There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.
Commentary:
Trying to please everyone is like trying to drown a fish! 🐟🤷♂️😄
If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.
Commentary:
Guess I need to work on my swagger then! 😎✨
We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.
Commentary:
Guess we just agreed to let the magical hot wind take the lead in our kitchens! 🍟✨🍃
Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.
Commentary:
Chopsticks: Saving me from movie-level melancholy, one dumpling at a time! 🥡🥢😂
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
Commentary:
Wow, with all those words, you'd think there'd be at least a polite way to schedule a chair appointment! 🙃🪑📚