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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Trending via Discord:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Spotted on Twitch:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Just shared via Twitch:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Going viral on Instagram:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Funny nice thing quotes

Funny nice thing quotes bring a smile 😄 while warming the heart 💖! They mix kindness with humor, making compliments feel light and playful 🎉. Perfect for brightening someone’s day or adding a dash of joy to your feed 🌟. Ready to spread good vibes with a twist of laughter? Let’s dive into these witty, sweet, and downright delightful sayings that keep the mood upbeat and the smiles wide! 😎✨

New funny nice thing quotes 👇

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

0

2 months ago

aging, bushe, drunk, fall, getting, humor, nice, nice thing, older, thing
My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

0

2 months ago

after, always, attempt, dragon, happiness, hoard, i, lie, me, nice, nice thing, possessions, purge, rediscover, thing, things
The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

0

2 months ago

egotist, humor, nice, nice thing, people, personality, self-centered, talk, thing, wit

All funny nice thing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

60 shares on Slack this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

21 shares on Discord this month:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,074

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via Twitch:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Just landed via Discord:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Just landed via X:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Live now on Slack:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Making waves on Threads:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

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