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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Trending via X:

I would like even faster food.

Trending via Messenger:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Freshly posted on X:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending via Messenger:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Trending via Threads:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

23 Funny none quotes

Funny none quotes are the perfect mix of wit and whimsy to brighten your day 😂✨ Whether you’re in need of a chuckle or just some clever wordplay, these gems will have you laughing out loud 🤣💬 Dive into a world where humor meets honesty, and prepare for a smile explosion! 😄🔥 Ready to share the fun? Let’s get those giggles going! 🎉📢

New funny none quotes 👇

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

9 hours ago

decision making, girlhood, humor, media, none, only, patience, photo, photography, picture, pictures, post, posting, selfie, social, social media, taking
Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

12 hours ago

attitude, business, communication, humor, i, none, oh, privacy, sarcasm, secret, tell
(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

2 weeks ago

conversation, fiction, guy, humor, know, me, next, none, novel, reading, right, seeing, skepticism
This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

3 weeks ago

acting, bit, fake, humor, i, joke, life, method, method acting, none, performance, real, role-playing, work, working, year
Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

3 weeks ago

Amazon, business, consumer, delivery, humor, i, me, none, oh, online, online shopping, package, please, self-awareness, shopping, tell, tracking, year
Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

3 weeks ago

equipment, humor, none, podcast, praying, unwrapping
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

1 month ago

brothers, buying, entertainment, entertainment industry, evolution, evolve, future, gill, humor, industry, living, matter, Netflix, none, once, start, underwater, warner, Warner Brothers
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

2 months ago

boundary, business, humor, i, love, mean, mystery, none, ocean, respect, say, surface, underwater, whatever
The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

2 months ago

2, alarm, annoyance, apart, morning, none, person, room, roommate, share, sleep, someone, wake, wake up, worst
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad time, good, humor, just, listening, none, partner, relationship, sarcasm, side, support, tell, time, times

For even more funny none quotes, hit next 👇

All funny none quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

72 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

81 shares on Threads this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Social media is mental suicide.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Spotted on YouTube:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Just landed via Instagram:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Making waves on Slack:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

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