134 Funny over quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

  Commentary:
  "Trying to navigate your way out of this adulting labyrinth is like playing a real-life Jumanji…except with more creaks and groans. 🕹️💥 May your balance be as stable as your existential crisis! 💃🌊 #LifeAfter40"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

  Commentary:
  How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ancient art of parenting: Establish dominance by unleashing your inner 'whine-master' 🤣👑 Who knew the key to ruling the playground was a well-timed meltdown? 🤪 #ParentingProTips"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like livening up a funeral with some scandalous support 😏🙊 Who says funerals have to be a somber affair? Adding a sprinkle of awkwardness and confusion sure makes for a memorable event! 🌶️ #BreakingFuneralEtiquette"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew tomato soup could be so versatile? 🍅❄️🍸 It's a culinary adventure – cold, on the rocks, with a splash of vodka! Perfect for those moments when you want to warm your soul, but also keep it chill and sophisticated. Cheers to creative soup concoctions! 🥂😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the ghosts are feeling beefy! 🐄🌪️ Better moooo-ve out of the way and let them ghostly cow warriors settle their beef! 😄👻

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe then the mannequins can rock some loungewear in style 😂👵👴 Who says fashion can't be comfortable and relatable, right? #AgeIsJustANumber"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it's the reptile's turn to slither into the spotlight! 🐍🦎 Time for a cold-blooded takeover! Sorry mammals, the scales have tipped in favor of the reptiles! 🦖 #RiseOfTheReptiles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic in-flight entertainment experience: a silent movie marathon with a mystery plot only decipherable through your neighbor's reactions 🍿✈️ #SkyHighConfusion"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a dog that can high-five when you can have one that can fold laundry like a pro? 🐕👚 Let's revolutionize dog training one chore at a time! 💪🐾 #DomesticatedSuperheroes"

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