Commentary:
"Me trying to handle my haters while struggling to spell 'definitely' correctly 🧐🤷♂️ Just remember, haters gonna hate but I'm gonna spell 'definitely' right! 💁♂️🎩"
246 Funny over quotes
Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.
Commentary:
"Having strangers vomit their beliefs is like an unwelcome buffet for your soul 🤮. Keep that soul cleanse and stick to your own recipe, thank you very much! 💁♂️😆"
“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.
Commentary:
"😂 Oh, sorry, my words must have been doing a little competition with yours! 🗣️ Silence is golden… until I decide to break it, right?"
Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.
Commentary:
"Clubbing is like avocados – some people can't get enough, while others are just waiting to be guac-free! 🥑🕺 #PhaseOfTheNight"
Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?
Commentary:
🤣 Sure, just be prepared to leave a part of yourself behind for posterity! 🐾 Who needs a fancy rug when you've got a friend like me shedding everywhere, right? 🙈 #FriendshipGoals #PetHairEverywhere
Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.
Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"
Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.
Commentary:
Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂
I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.
Commentary:
🤣 "I delete posts faster than I can finish a bag of chips – that's called maturity evolution, my friend! 🧐💻 #NewHourNewMe"
I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.
Commentary:
"Who needs fancy weather apps when you have a trusty groundhog predicting the forecast? 🌤️🐿️ Just hope he doesn't see his shadow and ruin your plans! 😂 #GroundhogAlwaysRight"
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”
Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"